Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “I need it to work this time“?
Maybe you’re trying to start a workout routine again. Maybe you want to take better care of yourself and finally eat in a way that feels good. Maybe it’s something else entirely.
Whatever it is – if you’ve tried before and it didn’t go how you hoped, a quiet desperation can creep in.
“I’m so tired of trying and getting nowhere.”
“Will this ever work for me?”
“Maybe I’m just a lost cause.”
(All things I’ve had people share with me.)
These thoughts are completely NORMAL. But I know it doesn’t make it any less sucky to deal with.
And worse, experiences like these make you gun shy to try again.
You start looking for the perfect plan – the one that can guarantee success no matter what.
And any setback? Just more proof that we can’t hack it.
So how do we break out of this “Doom Loop” and gear up for another attempt? And how do we make it go differently than last time?
These are the fundamental questions that Steve tackles in his upcoming book, “How to Try Again” (have we mentioned the book before 😜)
While Steve guides you step-by-step through the process, I want to highlight one section in particular that I think is really helpful for when you find yourself stuck in this mode. Here’s what Steve writes:
Comics don’t tell a joke because it’s funny. They tell a joke until it’s funny.
A joke begins as an anecdote or an observation. It’s a “best guess”at something that might be funny. It’s a shout into the void, often accompanied by “Is this anything?” That first day telling a joke is usually painful. Nobody laughs, and the comedian awkwardly follows it up with “Okay, guess that’s not ready.”
The next time they tell that joke, they tell it slightly differently with a new punch line. Again, crickets. But the third time they tell it, they get one chuckle. That comedian now has their first win, and they can start to build of that joke. The next time they tell it, it gets a bit funnier, and they get a few more laughs.
And from there, one adjustment or tweak at a time, a comedy set gets built. That’s what makes stand- up so darn impressive. It’s a meticulously crafted performance made to look effortless.
These same lessons apply to any change we attempt (including improving our fitness!)
The Matrix
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If I had powers like in the Matrix and I could just download all the info I’ve learned in the last 15 years of coaching into your brain, this is what I would share:
Treat each workout, each nutrition strategy, as an experiment to see what works for you.
Take your best guess and go for it, even if you don’t know for sure.
A “failed” experiment isn’t a failure – it’s feedback we can use to try again, differently.
Because here’s the thing – there is no one workout, no one nutrition strategy, no one routine that works all the time, for everyone, forever.
Sure, there are fundamentals that you can continue to rely on. That’s why we built things like the Beginner Bodyweight Workout, or our 10 Nutrition Levels. To give you a really good starting point to run your first experiment and to help you avoid the overblown hype rampant on the internet.
But that’s just the first step.
From there, we learn to notice what does and doesn’t work for us, and adjust accordingly. Then we rinse and repeat until the heat death of the universe.
Heck, I’ve been training for 25 years, and I STILL make adjustments all the time. That’s not a flaw in the plan – that’s the whole game.
How this applies in day-to-day life
Here are some examples just from this past week:
- Squats are bothering my knees – I’ll try subbing in step ups today.
- I am so sick and tired of chicken. I’m going to experiment with some plant-based proteins this week.
- Life is really chaotic right now – I don’t think I’ll be able to get to the gym reliably. I’m going to pivot to a short bodyweight routine I’ll do before work to save time.
That mindset shift (from ‘perfect plan’ to ‘try and adjust’) is how Dawn stopped feeling caught in the Doom Loop and got the courage to try again.
Since the beginning of this year when she took part in the Nerd Fitness Challenge, she’s completed 6 rounds of experiments, learning more about herself and what’s working for her each time.
The Nerd Fitness challenge is progressing well. I do what I can and have a sense of peace knowing I have done my best. Keeping track of my progress this year has provided a great view of how I am living My Big Why. I really am living a healthy life! – Dawn
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(If you want help setting up and running your own fitness ‘experiment’, here’s everything you need to get started.)
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One thing I’ve noticed in talking with clients over the years is how good we are at recognizing how much things have changed in the past, and yet how we think everything is likely to stay as it is right now moving forward.
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If there’s one thing I can guarantee you, it’s that things are going to change again.
If we can let go of trying to find the ‘perfect plan’ and start with good enough, if we can run mini ‘experiments’, if we can learn how to try again, we’re giving ourselves the best chance of navigating through the chaos.
It takes courage to try again – especially when we’ve been burned in the past. To pick yourself back up after a setback, a big life change, or a disappointment.
I’ve read a lot of books, studies, and taken courses on behavior change in my time as a coach.
How to Try Again takes all of those lessons, but delivers them in a way that’s, more than anything, human.
Thank you, Steve, for pouring yourself into this book and sharing it with the rest of us.
-Matt
P.S. You can grab a copy of How to Try Again here.