It’s tempting to try to bypass coworkers in the break room or limit small talk with the person waiting next to you in an effort to avoid what you suspect will be a dull conversation. But new research makes a solid argument for leaning into these “boring” chats.
The study, which was published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, found that people who actually engage in these conversations thought that they were much more interesting and enjoyable than they expected. But beyond that, there is data to suggest that having these “boring” conversations could do your mental and physical health a solid.
“These moments are small, but they are not trivial,” Nicholas Allan, PhD, psychologist and assistant professor in the department of psychiatry and behavioral health at The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center, tells SELF. Here’s why.
The study did a deep dive into conversations around topics people usually find dull.
The research focused on nine experiments featuring 1,800 participants. During the experiments, participants were asked to predict how much they would enjoy talking about a range of topics they identified as boring. These included World Wars I and II, nonfiction books, math, onions, the stock market, cats, and vegan diets. These chats happened with either strangers or friends, and were in person or online.
The researchers discovered that while participants said they expected the conversations to be pretty lame, they reported afterward that they enjoyed them much more than they thought they would. This even happened when both people in the conversation thought a topic was boring.
“We decided to conduct this research because so many people avoid conversations they think will be boring. We cancel small talk, dread networking events, and assume that certain topics, like the weather, commuting, or daily routines, just won’t be interesting,” Elizabeth Trinh, lead study author and a doctoral student at the University of Michigan, tells SELF. “If conversations are generally good for us, why do we so often expect them to be dull or draining?”
Being engaged in the conversation matters more than what you’re talking about.
Ultimately, the researchers found that being engaged in the conversation was what really mattered. “Engagement drives enjoyment more than topic does,” Trinh says. “People assume that interest comes from having a fascinating subject. But in reality, what makes conversations enjoyable is the sense of connection like feeling heard, responding to each other, and discovering unexpected details about someone’s life. Even a mundane topic can become meaningful when two people are actively engaging with each other.”