Actress and ’90s icon Christina Applegate is known for many roles, but especially as Kelly Bundy, the edgy, “dumb blonde” in the controversial and beloved sitcom, Married… with Children. In the last few years, the 54-year-old has largely retreated from the spotlight and public life after being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, a condition that makes her feel as if she is “on a three‑day‑long sleepless bender,” she writes in her recently released memoir.
Emotional and honest, sometimes dark and often funny, You With the Sad Eyes is a raw and revealing portrait of the actress. Applegate paints a vivid picture of her messy trauma-filled childhood and coming of age while becoming a TV star. She unpacks her complicated entanglements with men, the emotional toll of enduring devastating illnesses, but also the joy, surprise, and discovery of living her life with admirable bravery.
For her book, Applegate mined her memories, but also the journals she has written in since age 13. For years, she hadn’t intended to revisit them, but the challenge of putting her story on the page changed that. “Lucky you—the box is open,” she tells readers in the Preface.
In many ways, Applegate’s memoir is born from the reality that many people with a debilitating chronic illness face. “I no longer care what I say or how I come across or how it makes anyone feel,” she writes. “I don’t have patience for bullshit anymore, no patience for things that are meaningless or merely ‘extra.’ Add to that, I don’t have room for inauthenticity or hidden meanings.”
SELF spoke with Applegate about the process of writing it all down and the truths she has found as she navigates a chapter of life that’s filled with a new kind of uncertainty—but also, thankfully, the love and community she has always hungered for.
SELF: Your memoir is incredibly powerful. Can you tell us why you decided to write this book, and why now?
Christina Applegate: I have nothing else to do. Seriously, I’m just sitting here. Maybe it was time to turn off Bravo for a couple years. I was approached, and someone said, “Did you ever feel like writing a book?” And I was like, “Well, I’ve got a lot to say, so let’s do it. Let’s go there. Let’s write it down. Let’s get it out. Let’s puke it out!”